Ok, so me crying twice in a year is a big thing, but twice in a month?

I was in the process of making crab cakes and I cut off my left index finger's nail (over 50%) with a chef's knife.

Oh. My. God. The blood.

I've never done that before, so I tearfully call Dave who says he's done it a t least a dozen times...it's going to hurt like an effing c*nt in heat and will take 6 weeks to heal.

Wow, and to think it's only Wednesday. I wonder if I can do more damage to myself by the weekend.

I've also discovered how much it sucks to type with a gigantic bandage wrapped around one's index finger.

Does anyone happen to have a box of finger bandages they can run over right now?