I Couldn't Make This Up...News Of The Weird...At My House...


I wake up at 1am to hear a phone ringing...at least I think that's what I hear. It stops, gets rolled to voice mail, I roll over and go back to sleep thinking it must be Dave calling me drunk from Colorado.

At 1:12, I hear the phone again. Ok, this is annoying.

I roll out of bed and there is someone sleeping on my couch. Must be Jack...no...I go over and realize it's a young girl. I pull the ringing phone out of her hand and realize it's Todd's phone, but I don't recognize the number, so I let it go and shut off the phone. The girl looks up at me and rolls over, pulls my fuzzy throw blanket up over her shoulder, and goes back to sleep. Being that I wasn't all that awake, and it was dark, I thought it was Todd's 2nd cousin. Totally confused as to what she was doing here, I go back to bed. Thinking this will all make sense in the morning.

5am Todd gets up and goes out to the kitchen to get a drink, comes back in the bedroom and says, "What happened last night?"

"What do you mean?" I said back to him.

"The screen is busted."

"Who is sleeping on our couch?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Why is there is a girl on our couch?"

Todd looks at me funny and walks out of the bedroom and wakes up said young girl.

I pull on my bathrobe and wander out in the living room, and nope, not 2nd cousin. I have never seen this girl in my life.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" She replied.

"Todd, call the police." I turn to her and say, "Um, for starters your name, and what the hell are you doing asleep on my couch? And why did you bust out our screen to get in here?"


She swears she didn't rip the screen, that she thought her friends were in our house and they must have done it. I'm having a very difficult time believing much from her since she did break into my house, and couldn't really give me any sort of reason why she decided sleeping on my couch, on my pillows, and underneath my blanket was a grand idea at 11:51pm, which was the time she made the first outgoing phone call on Todd's phone.


"Good Lord, Niki, what were you on last night? This is bad, you realize that this is breaking and entering?"


She didn't answer, but just sort of looked at me like a lost puppy, and I felt kind of bad for her. She's 16 years old and randomly breaking into someones house to sleep there...and she lost her bra and one of the two tank tops she had on in my front yard (thankfully, she did have clothes on, but no shoes).

The police finally showed up about 20 minutes after we called them, and took Niki out to the squad while we went over what happened.

Being that she is a minor, they asked what we wanted to do. We said it would be nice if she paid restitution for the screens, but we just wanted them to bring her home to her parents, who live about 3 blocks away.

The most disturbing thing is the copper said this happens a lot. Drunk young girl either walks in or breaks into some random house and passes out on the couch. Nice.

I wish I could say that it all made sense in the end, but we are still baffled. This is what we found outside:
The light laying next to the flowers was pulled out of the ground and used to cut threw the screen below, I'm assuming to open the door, but since you need to unlock the door with a key, that didn't work. So she (or some random other person) ripped the screen out of the window above, pushed our window fan into the house, which was left running on the floor under the desk where it landed, and climbed in the window.


Happy Sunday morning. I told you I couldn't make this crap up.

Jack is calling her Goldilocks and asked if she ate any porridge or broke any of our chairs.

Such wit.