Ok, so me crying twice in a year is a big thing, but twice in a month?

I was in the process of making crab cakes and I cut off my left index finger's nail (over 50%) with a chef's knife.

Oh. My. God. The blood.

I've never done that before, so I tearfully call Dave who says he's done it a t least a dozen times...it's going to hurt like an effing c*nt in heat and will take 6 weeks to heal.

Wow, and to think it's only Wednesday. I wonder if I can do more damage to myself by the weekend.

I've also discovered how much it sucks to type with a gigantic bandage wrapped around one's index finger.

Does anyone happen to have a box of finger bandages they can run over right now?

I went shopping last night...I needed retail therapy after Todd took all of my whites, lights, and delicates and washed them in HOT water, then threw them all in the dryer. I lost all of my favorite sweaters and I cried. Some very small person at the thrift store will be happy, though.
It was not the best time to shop, since I am in my uber fat stage. I had gall bladder stones, was terrified to go to the doctor since I didn't want them to take it out, so I did the homeopathic "flush" and got a bunch of them out. I've gained 12 pounds since August, and I'm hoping to lose it now that I can actually process food again. I never realized what a blessing it is not needing to live of off saline laxatives until just recently. TMI, I know, but, well, duh.

I took Jack to Red Nails this morning for a pedicure and manicure.

Why, Amy, why??

Because I wanted to go...my hands and feet have been NASTY for months and with all the meetings I have at work, I was feeling really bad for the people who had to look at my gross cuticles when I point to figures. I can't do a decent job on my nails myself and I got reprimanded by the nail tech for pushing my cuticles back too much.

Why did I bring Jack? Because he has my nasty nails. He went plain this time, but NEXT time, he's going to alternate neon orange and red on his toes and get blue fingernails.

I'm procrastinating doing my homework so I better get back to it....

Sigh...