Let them eat cake...

So my father came over for Christmas and we decided it would be a really good idea to get a Buttercream cake from our favorite bakery...Buttercream! Note...the Lego guy is for scale...it was a HUGE cake.

We sent a big chunk home with Dad...and Todd and I spent the next few days eating this wonderful cake.

Jack came home and we were nice enough to save him a piece...here's the conversation that followed...

Jack: I'm really full from dinner, I don't think I can eat cake...

Todd: I'll eat it for him.

Amy: No, you can save it for breakfast. There's nothing better than cake for breakfast, so long as you also eat a banana. (note, the cake for breakfast post)

The next morning...

Jack: Oh, no, I've become one of THOSE people.

Amy: What are you talking about...?

Jack: I like the cake, but not the frosting. It's like eating a stick of butter.

Amy: You say that like it's a bad thing! I call dibs on the frosting...eat your banana.

Although, I will note that eating buttercream frosting at 6:45am leaves one feeling rather sick about an hour later.

Oh well, it was worth it.

Mmmm, cake.

The Annual Hunt...


Here is Jack, our photographer...note the blaze orange to prevent being accidentally shot at...

We had a new addition to the hunt this year...Beckham was proudly wearing his orange, and wondering what in God's name we were doing...

Jack calls this one "Wilderness Barbie". We got Ginger her own coat, though she was not happy to be walking in the snow, so the little princess got carried.

Potential victims...

Our fearless guide...ok, I didn't get the booty shot this year because he was wearing a snow suit and you really couldn't tell it what was in the picture. I was kind of impressed because here, it almost looks like he's smiling...almost

I then realized I never took a picture of the tree, so I just snapped this one. Christmas is over, all the presents are gone, and I think I need to water the tree...

Merry Christmas!

One middle aged mom and two 10 year old boys decide to go sledding after dinner,
therefore, in the dark...

After an hour or so, a dozen trips up the hill, 4 white washed wipe outs for the mom, and the building of one jump, "If we pee on it, I bet it would freeze solid!," they decide to call it a day...or...night.

I think I'm good for another 2-3 years...

My little boy...


Ok, so this was Halloween, but we did have to have the "no you cannot wear "guy-liner" to school discussion". I'm thinking the nuns might object to 5th graders wearing black eyeliner, especially if the boys are beating the girls to it...

Amy: When I imagined bonding with my son, I really didn't think it involved low lights and black nail polish.

Jack: (Sitting across from me with foils in his hair and wet black fingernails) Mom, this is so awesome! Criss Angel is my new hero. He is Goth, with attitude.

Amy: Does your dad go for this? I just can't imagine he does...

Jack: No, he just uses all of the neighbor's nail polish remover.

Amy: On some sick level, I love that...

French

Jack: Since I am taking French, I think we need to kiss like the French do...

Amy: Um, no, really, I don't think we do...that's gross and wrong on so many levels.

Jack: Why is kissing on both cheeks gross?

Amy: Oh...um...I didn't realize that's what you meant...sure, that sounds great, we'll start doing that.

Jack: What did you think I meant?

Amy: Um, never mind.

Our Trip to Yosemite...

One Recreational Vehicle
Two Kids
One Wii
One Nintendo DS
Two laptops
One Class of Homework: Intermediate Accounting
5000 miles
10 days
No Deaths

Don't we almost look happy?

Ross was not suffering from boredom much...he was a trooper.

The Redwood Forest and a REALLY big tree.

I'm not sure why he chose to play UNDER the table...

Almost looks like Banff, doesn't it?

Todd drove all 5000 miles, bless his heart.
There is NO WAY I was going to drive that thing. EEK!

Overheard conversations over email at my house...

Todd

Please, Please, Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee can we get one. http://minneapolis...

Jul 6 (1 day ago)

ToddLoading...

Jul 6 (1 day ago)

Todd to me

Reply

Please, Please, Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee can we get one.

Ad from Craigslist:

amy swenson to Todd

Reply

hell no

Todd to me

Reply

I don't care what you say I'm getting at least 1. Where should we put her? I'm thinking on the wall by our wedding picture.

Email Todd sent:

From: Todd
Subject: Tanned Grey Squirrel Hide - $24 (Bemidji, MN)

Hi

Do you have more than 1?

Thanks
Todd

Reply:

I just checked with my boyfriend who is the one that tans then, we have 10 hides and more to be done! We also have a tanned rabbit fur (it only has 1 ear though) How many were you thinking about purchasing?
Amanda

Todd to me

Reply

I really want the 1 eared bunny! Please? Please I'll be good!!!

amy swenson to Todd

Reply

You can sleep with it on your side of the bed, but I won't blame Ginger when she eats it.

Todd to me

Reply

I now know what I'm getting everyone for Christmas.

Overheard Conversations at my House...

Amy: "Where did I go wrong? I thought I was being a good parent."

Jack: "I'm sorry."

Amy: "I was prepared for Guitar Hero...Aerosmith...Sid Vicious...but, this, Jack, How do you expect me to react?"

Jack: "Mom, every child has their hero."

Amy: "How can I face our family? This tears me up inside. You broke my heart."

Jack: "I love you, Mom, but I can't help it."

Amy: "Isn't there some heroine addicted musician you would rather worship? What about Jimi Hendrix? You could worship him?"

Jack: "But I don't like Jimi Hendrix..."

Amy: "I feel as though I've died a little today..."

Jack: "I'm sorry, Mom, but I just love Pikachu."



Amy: "Please, just kill me now."

Ok, I know I suck.

I can't keep regular updates because I am so busy with school and life and all that other crap that goes along with being human.

So, today, I am standing in my kitchen trying to prioritize my de-mental list and I hear this blood curdling scream coming from outside. I first make sure all of my boys are inside (ok, I was thinking one of them was the cause of said blood curdling scream) and I look out the window to see some random pre-teen screaming bloody murder because she fell off of her scooter outside our house.

Her poor older brother was standing over her not knowing what in God's name he was supposed to do...she had a big scrape on her knee. I brought her inside cleaned it off gave her a big-ass band aid and another for the road and by that time, her parents had caught up with them.

I hope they realized I am not some creepy molester and was just trying to band-aid the screaming child. "Dad" looked me over like he was analyzing my child molesting characteristics. Duh, I put anti-biotic ointment and these really kick ass knee-elbow bandages on your kid. I'm a mom, therefore I take care of those in need.

Where was the rest of my family? Hiding. Todd and Jack come from hiding and Todd asks, "What the hell was that??" So, I tell him the story and he says, "When children stumble into the house, you push them downstairs and we sell them into slavery."

Blink, blink...blink...

Um, yeah, I think I'll stick to sending them home with band-aids, you sicko.

Amy's Afternoon Off:

12:30 - Go racing from work to dentist.

1-2pm - Have chipped tooth fixed and a wisdom tooth pulled that was migrating backwards and really irritating me because everything was getting stuck between it and the other back tooth and even though I brushed my teeth like a crazy woman at 12:28, I still had green stuff in there when Dr. Kratz pulled it out. Did I mention it broke and he had to dig out the pieces? Ick.

2-3pm - Had prescription for Tylenol with Codiene filled (Ooo, I should take more right now!!) and visited my friend Dolly Jo at the bank. She's the best, I love her.

3:15-4:25 - Ran around Lake Calhoun and Lake Harriet (about 8 miles) with gauze still in my mouth. I thought I might bleed to death if I didn't clamp down on it, but my mouth was sure dry after about 6 miles...

Sometime after that I made dinner, did homework, made a couple phone calls, and watched 2 episodes of House with Todd while I did yoga. I think they secretly watch our home to get the script for that show. Only...Todd is more random.

Then, I fell over.

And I wonder why I think I need a vacation from life?!

Jack: (To the tune of Iron Man and singing LOUDLY with a British accent...)

"I am Ice Cream Man! 27 flavors in my van!

When I ring my bell,

all the little fat kids run like hell."




Amy: "Um...what do I even say to that? That's funny right there, I don't care who you are...oh wait...Jack, watch your language!"

Here is tomorrow's forecast:

Friday: a chance of showers and isolated thunderstorms in the morning, then showers and isolated thunderstorms in the afternoon. Some thunderstorms may produce heavy rainfall. Highs around 55. Northeast winds 10 to 20 mph.

Ok, 10-20mph isn't that bad, 35 was bad. I can still run outside if manages to stop for 30 minutes...

Friday Night: colder, breezy. Cloudy with rain likely. Lows 35 to 40. North winds 15 to 25 mph. Chance of rain 70 percent.

Maybe there will be a break in the rain and I can run outside. I hate running on the treadmill...it's so hot and yucky...maybe rain isn't so bad...


I think my standards for running outside have hit an all time low...

Jack and Luke being goofy at school...yes, Goth child got a haircut...his choice!

I think I have officially become one of those crazy running people. Not that I wasn't already crazy, but here was yesterdays forecast:

Mostly cloudy with a 70 percent chance of snow showers in the morning (duh, we had snow on the ground when I woke up), then partly cloudy with a 30 percent chance of rain or snow showers in the afternoon. Highs around 35. North winds gusting up to 25 to 35 mph.

I actually went running. Outside. It was like running straight into a really cold barn fan.

Did I mention my whole body hurt when I got home?

Totally nuts.

I was trying to explain hair bands of the 80's to Jack and it went something like this...

Amy: "Oooo, I found 'Kickstart my Heart'. I think that's going to be a great song to run to...Motley Crue ROCKS!"

Jack: "Motley who?"

Amy: "Crue, Jack. You have already seen the Rolling Stone Live movie and you play Guitar Hero faithfully and you don't know who Motley Crue is?"

Jack: (he just stares and blinks at me...)

Amy: "Tommy Lee? Pamela Anderson? Ring any bells?"

Jack: (he just stares and blinks at me...)

Amy: "I am so lacking in parental guidance. Sit down and YouTube and I will explain the history of Motley Crue."

Jack: "Ok, as soon as Kim Possible is over..."

Amy: "You play such the bad boy and yet Saturday morning cartoons still drag you out of bed early. You'll always be my little boy. Sniff."

Jack: "Oh Pleeeeze."

Jack: Mom, I want to be Goth.

Mom: Um...what do you mean, "Goth"? Do you want to be punk?

Jack: Can I have a mohawk?

Mom: Hell, no.

Jack: I want to dress like Kiss.

Mom: "Kiss" aren't Goth, they are showmen.

Jack: Well, I want to dress like Kiss.

Mom: Over my dead body.

Jack: Um...

Mom: Don't get any ideas. How about we do a little shopping on Saturday? We'll go to Ragstock, Tatters, and hang and be Uptown Rats. Maybe we'll see a punk rocker.

Jack: COOL!!! You are the best mom in the whole world.

Mom: No, just pretty dumb.

Here is the results of our shopping trip:


Note the play on words for Hairy Pawter. It's a "Bad Dog" (or something like that) shirt.
I did casually mention he may want to spring the jewelry on donor dad one item at a time.

My baby's first leather. It brings tears to my eyes...sniff.

And his first pair of Dickies, his first work shirt, first pair of Chuck Taylors (ok, Mom got a pair, too!) his first brunch at the Uptown Bar (we both took home glasses, our stock was getting low) and now I've been told I need to get him a black hoodie so he can wear his leather all winter.
The things we have to learn...and we can learn together.
Precious parental moments.

And to think, just two weeks ago he was egg hunting for fuzzy bunnies.
They grow up so fast!

PS. We didn't even see one punk. I think punk is dead.

Learning Opportunities...

Amy tries to explain to Jack what a redneck is...

J- "Wow, those are scary, they are like building blocks stacked on top of
each other"

A- "Those are mobile (pronounced moe-bial) homes...a redneck mansion."

J- "What's a redneck?"

A- "A backwater, po-duck, hillbilly, my sister's husband's brother is
also my mother's sister's son."

J- "Ohhhhh, creepy."

A- "I wonder if Minneapolis would let us do that here....
I do want an addition...
but I'm thinking it might be violating a building code or four..."

J- "Can I have the top one?"