Amy: When I imagined bonding with my son, I really didn't think it involved low lights and black nail polish.

Jack: (Sitting across from me with foils in his hair and wet black fingernails) Mom, this is so awesome! Criss Angel is my new hero. He is Goth, with attitude.

Amy: Does your dad go for this? I just can't imagine he does...

Jack: No, he just uses all of the neighbor's nail polish remover.

Amy: On some sick level, I love that...