Overheard Conversations At My House:

Amy: Do you want to see the new dishes I bought?

Todd: No, they are dishes.

Amy: But they are RED and PRETTY and SQUARE and CHRISTMASY. Can you at least feign some excitement?

Todd: OH BOY! Those are the coolest dishes I have EVER SEEN! I think I'm going to go downstairs and masturbate about them!

Amy: Do you want to bring a dish with as a visual aide?

Todd: No, I'll take a bowl.

Amy: Gross. Paper plates for you...forever.