Mary Poppins, 8th Floor, Daytons, No Marshall Fields, No Macy's...Whatever...

Starring...
Jack!

Dave!

Amy! (also the narrator)

and Todd!

Ok, so he was with, but this is the only shot you'll get because Jack snuck it when we were cutting through Target Downtown...yes, we are all disappointed he won't shave...

Word of caution...this is a spoiler! If you like to be surprised by the 8th floor, DON'T READ ON!!

And don't email me telling me I wrecked it for you, because A. I warned you, and B. I don't care, you read this at your own risk. If you haven't figured that out by now, you must not know me.

And here is our story...

Scene 1...First, Mr. and Mrs. Banks had Jane. Michael came soon after. But when the new twins arrived, Nanny thought that made two children too many.

Wow, what a touchy old broad. That's not exactly team spirit.

Scene 2..."But Husband, Katie Nanna left us without a word of warning. What am I to do?" said Mrs. Banks. "Advertise in the Morning Paper that we require the best possible Nanny at the lowest possible wage!"I think this was before the father got 6 weeks paid time off when his wife had a baby. Either that, or he's hiding at the office. Probably, the latter.

If I saw my new nanny floating up the stairs, I think I would run screaming from the house, but, that's just me.

Oh, Boy!!

"Don't miss the booty shot on Mary Poppins." says Todd, passing by.

"Did you get a shot of her butt?" asks Jack, REALLY LOUDLY.

I'd like to say geat minds think alike, but, um, not so much.

Scene 8..."Business is bad today Mary. Can't take you to tea, I'm afraid. Unless...I got an idea! Why don't we go into the picture?!"

I'd mention something here about Jerry Garcia and blotter,
but, oh, yeah, I'm trying to keep it clean.

That would be Evil Stepsister in congito from last year...just an FYI.

I think they make beano for that now. Ick.

Um, maybe it was the mushrooms, Alice.

Scene 14...In the park, Mary Poppins pointed up ahead. "Look Michael, something shiny-go pick it up."

"It's a compass," said Mary Poppins. "To go around the world with." And holding the compass in her hadn, Mary Poppins said the word "North!"

"I can't take pictures of these...they aren't turning out!"

"Duh, turn off the flash." says Todd.

"Oh, yeah, right, thanks." Mental head slap.

Scene 18..."Please, tickle me gently behind the ears. That always sends me to sleep," sighed the Panda."

Oscar likes that, too.

"Oh, Michael, I know EXACTLY how you feel."

Use your imagination, this is a "G" rated post.

Wait, this is toward the end and they sell gingerbread near Santa. Do you think this might be a not-so-sublimal marketing scheme?? I think so!

Scene 22..."But how? But why?" wondered Michael. "what I want to know,"replied Jane, "is this: Are the stars gold paper or is the gold paper stars?"
THE END

Then, Jack replies, "I don't get it. Paper stars?" After several attempts, I get an "OOOOHHHHHH!!!
I still don't get it."
Reverting back to effective-toddler-distraction I say,
"How about we go see Santa?"
"Yeaaaaaaaaa!" And, Jack goes off to get in line...

By the way, I still don't get where the stars came in, either.

"I'm too old to sit on Santa's lap."

"But, just in case, I want an iPod Nano and an iDog."

And no one is too old to sit on Santa's lap, see?

"And I want 2 puppies and a new house to put them in."

Well, Todd had already ditched us to get the car and so we decided to take a quick tour to see if the "Cellar" of Dayton's changed much with the new owners of the department store and what would you know, Amy was...

BUSTED!!

"I HAVE to, it's on sale!", she whines.

So, I brought home a new cast iron casserole to top off our Holiday 2006 excursion downtown.
God, I love Christmas.